Monday, June 18, 2012

Race Envy

I have recently come down with a case of race envy. I have had it before but now as my belly expands, I have become obsessed with what I can't do...RUN!

The past year has been a whirlwind. I got engaged, married and pregnant within 7 months. My running, before I met my husband, was the love of my life. I ran 5k's, marathons, ultras and my favorite thing to do on weekends was go for long runs with my friend Sam. My life revolved around my running. Lucky for me, I married a runner. Evan and I would run together before work several times a week. When I became pregnant, I continued running, until about 3 weeks ago. I decided that the pressure I was beginning to feel in my lower abdomen was my body telling me enough is enough. In all honesty I was hoping to be one of those moms that would be able to run until delivery and then pick right back up. With 2 months to go, I am reduced to walking, some very light weight training and yoga. I am fine with this because it is all for the most noble cause, delivering a healthy baby! However, I do have to confess that I miss running terribly.

On Sunday, a few of my friends ran the BPAC. This is a 6 hour race, where you run as many of the 3.5 mile loops as you can in the allotted time. I have done this race a few times and it is one of my favorites! Race envy set in immediately. Are any of you familiar with this syndrome? It's a feeling that runner's have when they can't do what they love most. Whether you are injured, or pregnant, or volunteering at a race or pacing a friend, race envy inevitably sets in. I have crewed and paced in several races and it is like pure torture. Why didn't I sign up for this race? I say it to myself everytime. Although I often say the opposite while running a race...Why the hell did I sign up for this? But I know why...I run because I love it, because it keeps me sane, because it's in my soul, because at the end of every run, every race I have the same feelings...pride, happiness, peace.

As I journey through these last months of pregnancy, I feel such joy because I am actually training for the most important event of my life! When baby arrives I hope to return to running as soon as the doc gives me the green light, jogging stroller and all:)

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