It's been a slow process, getting back into running post baby. My body has changed in ways that I never imagined and it in turn has affected my running. My hips are wider, my breasts are larger, well just about all of me is larger and I seem clumsy as well. I went for my first solo run since Lucy was born on Sunday morning. My husband begged me to sleep in with him, but the baby was fed and sleeping so I couldn't pass up this opportunity to get out for a quick run...ALONE! I laced up my new Asics to break them in and headed out. Within the the first 5 minutes of my run, I tripped over a sidewalk crack, skinned both my knees, my upper right thigh and my right elbow! See...clumsy! Well my knees were bleeding and my initial thought was to head back home and clean myself up but if you are a breastfeeding mother, you know that you only have a small window of time to be away from your baby. So I got up, brushed myself off and kept running (blood dripping down my knees and all). I can't imagine what the people driving by me thought! I only snuck in 3 miles that day but boy did it feel good. My lungs were burning along with my knees, thigh and elbow but I felt more like myself than I have in the past 11 months.
I have been so tempted to give up breastfeeding. I have been trying to come up with excuses to justify stopping. I know it's my decision ultimately but I do feel pressure from my husband and my family to try to stick it out and quite frankly I put the most pressure on myself. When it comes right down to it, it's about sacrifice. Can I sacrifice my time, my running, my glass of wine, my body for the benefit of my baby girl? Well the answer is yes. She is the most important thing in my life and if breastfeeding is what is best for her, then gosh darnit, breastfeeding is what she will get. I plan to try (really, really hard) to make it to 6 months breastfeeding. As much as I really wanted to train for a big race post baby, the reality is that I am not willing to give up this precious time with Lucy and I am not ready to give up on breastfeeding. My big race will just have to wait until the Spring. In the meantime, I am trying to squeeze in a run here and there and Lucy is just about big enough to get into that jogging stroller. So I may not be running on my terms, but the main thing is just to get out there and run! Cheers!